Monday, January 9, 2012

TV, Internet and I have "The Talk"

TV and Internet, you are devilishly charming distractions.  Why do you tempt me with your DVR and amazing blog updates?  TV, when I am about to read or write, why do you insist on enticing me with American Horror Story and Modern Family?  You know I'm weak in the face of Beverly Hills, 90210 and Twilight Zone marathons, yet you persist in seducing me with such sweet nothings.

And you, Internet.  Don't think you're getting off easy.  You're just another version of the devil television, with your Hulu and YouTube clips.  And then there are all the blogs.  Why do you feed my compulsion to follow my favorite authors and read book industry gossip?  What do you have to say for yourself? 

Well I'm onto you.  I was all set to read some YA books from my to-be read bookshelves and you go on and take all my attention.  I'm not even sure how it happened.  One minute I was sitting down with Advanced Reader Copy and then next I was watching Being Erica on Soapnet while checking my email.  

Well, I won't have it.  

I won't.

I will not start watching Downton Abbey or catch up on celebrity gossip.

I'm shutting you both down.  From now on, all your wooing will be for naught.  I am immune to your charms, sirs.

Just like Jody Sawyer in 2001's ballet-licious Center Stage, I spurn you.  Who needs your empty promises?

Wait, what?  Sixteen Candles is on?  Pub Rants has a new blog post?

I can't stay mad at you.

Lucky for you I manage to squeeze in two books a week because of my hour-and-a-half work commute each way.  I've also started blogging again, so I'm beginning to flex my writerly mini-muscles.  See?  And there's always the long Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend anyway.  I can get things done then, right?  

Things will be be different, you say?  You've changed?  Heaven help me, I believe you.  I know you mean what you say.  You will respect my boundaries, won't you?  You'll let me do what needs to be done in peace?  

Good then.  I trust you. 

Until then, I plan on finishing this episode of Dexter.  But after that, that's it!

(No word on the MFA program yet.  Is it bad that I sort of, kind of, maybe almost want a rejection so I don't have to give up my distractions?)

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